17 June all clear

Well, that was interesting. The biopsy results came back benign. The doctor who called to explain said the spot was some other normal thing with a Latin name he rattled off.  A weight off my shoulders. My summer race schedule restored. Now I've got to get the details for Sunday's race sorted.

It was curious to observe how I deal with uncertainty, how the threat of illness can clarify priorities and make choices clear. Racing is secondary to health, though for me it is one way I support my health.

In some ways, nothing changed but the thoughts I was thinking. I wonder what other thoughts I can change.

Now, to go translate the race instructions.

16 June - living with cancer

I'm still adjusting to the idea that I have a form of cancer.  I feel a little frightened and out of sorts. I am glad I'm otherwise really healthy. And I'm glad I got the spot on my back checked. It's easy to put off things like that. Several of my friends have mentioned that seeing a dermatologist has been on their To-Do list and they've made the call.

I decided the good thing about this experience is I can tell people about it and maybe they'll feel motivated to take care of their own health and check out moles and spots.  I found an interesting description on wikipedia that said if you have "an ugly duckling" - a mole or spot that's different from the other ones on your body - you need to have a doctor look at it.


A basal cell carcinoma can have several different appearances. It can be a shiny bump, a sore that heals and then forms again, a pink-colored growth, an irritated reddish patch, or a waxy scar. Sometimes, a basal cell carcinoma may resemble psoriasis or eczema. 

I vacillate between thinking no big deal. This is the kind of cancer that doesn't kill people - at least not very quickly - and blah blah blah. And then I dissolve into some tears, especially if anyone is nice to me and offers me some empathy.

I didn't run today because it was pouring ran and I had to work late and had an appointment that got pushed back to discuss race day nutrition.  I want the fire in my belly that I had on Monday. When I was ready to hit the next six weeks really hard. I think I can still do that. I just need a moment to collect myself.

Sunday's race might be my only tri-race this season. That would be a disappointment. But I can't seriously see postponing cancer treatment in order to be able to race. The cost could be too high.

So, what's on your list - Do you have an "I ought to get around to making that call?"   Do it, because I am going to ask you.

Study shows marathon runners at increased risk of skin cancer

Juneathon activity today? Walk the dog.